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Archive for September, 2015

The Log in my Eye

Kim Davis, the Kentucky County Clerk who was jailed for refusing to issue marriage licenseses to gay couples, was recently released from jail. The social media frenzy surrounding her arrest and release has been filled with more hate and venom than anything I’ve read in recent memory, with much emphasis being placed on the fact that she has been married four times. But this post isn’t about Kim Davis. It’s about Jesus.

Guess who else has been married four times? 

Me.
Now I don’t know all of her story, but I do know mine. Without sharing all of the sordid details, let’s just say that for many, many years I was lost in the pit of sexual sin. All of my three previous marriages failed for one simple reason: they were not biblical, covenant marriages. 

And then I had encounter with the living God of the universe. He changed me. I could no longer stay in the same place I was in. I was crushed under the weight of my own sin and when I had no where else to go, Christ was ready for me with open arms. My life has never been the same. 

When Jesus pulls you into him, you walked away changed. Sometimes limping and stumbling, but changed for the better. You can’t be in Christ and stay the same. He loves you too much to leave you there.

There’s shame and guilt. There’s  loving discipline. There’s painful conviction.  There’s repentance. And then he holds your hand and carries you into freedom through his sanctifying, amazing grace.

God brought Kevin into my life after years of disgrace and my distrust of men. And I am so thankful for him everyday. I’m thankful that he saw in me the woman who God was forming and shaping. Kevin looked beyond my past and had faith in who I was becoming. 

Our marriage isn’t perfect. It’s made up of two sinners who love imperfectly. But because Jesus is at the center of it, there is so much grace and mercy covering us in our imperfections. And it is glorious.

Maybe these are a few of the things that Mrs. Davis has learned. Maybe this is the reason why she now understands the sanctity and holiness of marriage in ways that she never did before. And because of this new understanding, she can no longer treat a union as simply a matter of the state. I don’t know all of her reasons. I don’t know the full legal ramifications for her decisions, and I am not looking for a debate here regarding that. But what I do know that there was once a young man who held public office and defied the laws of his land by refusing to bow down to an idol, was tossed into a den of lions, and God spared his life. What I do know is that another man was a murderer of Christians and God blinded him and he became one of the most impactful evangelists of all time, defying laws again and again, being imprisoned and sentenced to death, and an angel released him and he was delivered from his captures. But what I do know is that Mrs Davis’ past marriages and divorces do not mean that she’s not a Christian. They mean she is a sinner. Just like me. 

For years I carried the weight of the shame of my divorces. I even hid my past from very dear friends I made when I started over my new life here in Temple. And withholding that cost me dearly in ways from which I may never fully recover. But now I can walk in victory over my past through Jesus. 

Oh make no mistake, I am still a sinner. Every single day. I am slothful, gluttonous, selfish, impatient, judgemental, elitist, arrogant, quick-tempered, and rebellious, just to name a few of my repeat offenders. Every day I fail in the Law. And every day, God lovingly shows me my faults and points me towards his Son.

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